to nearby lands and meeting interesting people.  Science museums (there's a great one in LA).  Old train stuff (couple of great museums in SoCal).  Bowling (because I can and it makes sense -- I could golf, but what's the point in chasing a ball around with intent to make the lowest possible score -- and in bowling, the ball comes back to you).  Target shooting (it's an occupational thing, being military and all, and I happen to be pretty good at it -- and there are no bizarre scoring calculations you need to do if you hit the bulls-eye, like there is when you get a strike in bowling).

Not Fun: Opera (except rock opera and even then).  Restaurants priding themselves on presentation (you usually get microscopic portions connected together with lovely and colorful sauces, but if I wanted art, I'd go to an art museum -- I'm there to eat)(I behave inappropriately at these fancy places, as I have this habit of standing up and shouting "where's the beef?").  Art museums (especially those that have exhibits that look like the artist should have been a chef at a restaurant that prides itself on presentation)(though there is art I enjoy, so it's not like I dislike art).  Crowds (except to people-watch or to get lost in).

Where is Los Alamitos? Los Alamitos is in Orange County, California.  Demographics say we are a part of the Greater Los Angeles Metroplex and Orange County would be due south of downtown Los Angeles.  Republographics say Orange County is a stronghold for them.  Los Alamitos is near Anaheim, home of Disneyland.  And, no, "THE Mouse" and I do not eat at the same place for lunch -- would you even walk into a restaurant where you saw a mouse bigger than any rat you ever saw? (Strange that anywhere else, most people would call the Health Department -- but here, people shove their children toward THE Mouse.)

Are You for Real? No -- not really.  I really am a Fig Newton® of your imagination.  Think now...  don't you think they would have jugged an insane loony-tune like me by now? Do you think the authorities would allow a graduate (cum laude with MD -- mental derangement) of the Laughing Academy wander the streets of our Nation?  Or defend it?  Especially with a gun or explosives? Let us hope not.  Therefore, no, I am not -- nor can I ever be -- for real.

You Are Such a Funny Guy - Are You Always This Funny? What -- you came here for sad stories or something? If you want sad stories, I have them too (drove an ambulance once) -- just ask.  Happy to share them as well.  But the world is full of sad stories -- wouldn't you like to have a laugh every now and then?

Is Everything You Have Given Here in this Home Page the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth, So Help You Goodness Gracious?  It would be a stretch of anyone's imagination to think that I would speak about any of the evil and rotten things to be known about me.  But if you like, I will be happy to provide the growing list of people with less-than-glowing opinions about me.

Notice that I didn't offer a list of enemies.  That is because I don't have enemies -- living, anyway.

Well heck, you made it this far: Click Here For LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO!

Enemies won't see the whites of these eyes -- they're bloodshot!

What?  You have had ENOUGH?  Oh, well --

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